I get hung up on wanting to “do it right”.
Are you ever hard on yourself?
Do you think about how you are “not at the finish line yet”?
HOW AMAZING is it that you started something new?!
What if we reveled in the process of starting something new?
What if we let ourselves enjoy the learning, the awakening, the adventure?
We are conditioned as children, as society, to soak up information as quickly as possible. We are taught that the fastest way to the finish line is the best way. We are taught to compare ourselves to the people who got there before us.
What if we taught our children that it is beautiful to take action in a new direction? What if society emphasized that having the bravery and creativity to start fresh and explore is really what matters? What if, first, we gave ourselves the gift of enjoying the journey, instead of focusing on the results?
Every story has a beginning, a middle and an end. Every great leader experienced setbacks, learned from them, and continued forward to become the leader they are today.
My son notices when kids do better than him at school. Healthy competition is one thing, but he’ll get caught up in a “compare and despair” mentality. He notices another child’s proficiency and he gets down on himself about the disparity in their skill level. He loses faith that he will become better in that subject area. He begins to call himself words like “stupid”. He gives up hope and his resilience takes a dive.
I may be the one leading my son astray. My parents had extremely high expectations of me. That served me in many ways, yet for me, fear of failure and fear of not looking good became totems more important than being creative and taking healthy risks. In sixth grade I was new to running track. I was known for running fast over short distances. At one event, I heard that I would be running against the fastest girl from a neighboring school. I put pressure on myself to win. Towards the end of the race, when she began to pull ahead, I ran off the track. Instead of placing second, instead of losing, I quit altogether. I quit the sport that year when I deduced that I wouldn’t be number one.
When I reflect back on that day, at that time in my life, I want to put my arms around that young girl (me) and tell her that it’s amazing that she’s learning a new sport, making new friends, believing in herself and yet not being obsessive about results. I want to tell her that I’m proud of her for taking healthy risks, for failing, absorbing that information, dusting herself off, and continuing towards the finish line. I want to tell her how I see her being creative and experimental and that those are endeavors that build self confidence and empowerment. I want to hug her. I want to tell her that she is enough, as she is, and I wouldn’t change her. I want to tell her that she doesn’t have to be the best at everything. I want to tell her that she matters.
Can you feel safe in the unknown?
You can leave a legacy by learning how to revel in the journey, celebrate small wins, and cherish those around you as they embark on new endeavors.
I’m leaving a legacy by teaching others how to move beyond their limitations. A journey of ‘10 Ways to Move Beyond Your Old Story; Uplevel to Your Greatness’ is a free gift I am happy to share. Receive your gift by signing up here https://andrealuzon.com/10-ways/
Thank you for reading to the end of this piece. As each of us shares vulnerably from our heart, we help the universe level up in greatness, passion and vitality. We open the doors for one another and for the next generation to be more whole-hearted than the generation before us.
In Love and Light,
Andrea Luzon Coates
Awake. Free. Expansive.
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